The Phantom - Background, part 2
The Phantom paused as if lost in thought. He seemed lucid so I did not
want him to fall into a reverie from which he might not return, or that
might take an ugly turn, so I prompted him to speak further.
“Were you ill?”
"Well, no, not in the way that you mean. It was the curse of my blood that
was taking effect. I became thinner and more wan by the hour. Or so it
seemed to those who watched me. I felt fine. They insisted I be put to
bed and the lights put out. Bed rest, the doctor ordered, and more
bleedings. Perhaps it did a little good, for it seemed I changed but
little in those first few days. Soon, however, I grew restless and
resentful of the unwanted attention being paid me. Could they not leave me
alone with my daydreams? It was a week before those thoughts began to
become real in every way, and I am less sure that what happened next truly
happened, or if it was the beginning of my delusions."
"It was night and I heard the doctor approaching. I wished that he would
come no closer but, of course, the steps grew inevitably louder. Then I
wished that I might not be there, that I could disappear never to be seen
again by doctors, my father, brothers, or by anyone. As the creaking door
fell open I closed my eyes and wished I were not there as hard as I could,
and like some mad tale of childhood, my wish came true."
"There was, of course, a mad rush to find me. They searched the keep from
dungeon to crenel. I remained in bed the entire time, unsure exactly what
it was that was going on. They called my name over and over, but some
perverse instinct in me kept me from calling back. It seemed I was no
longer there, so I left that place and I have never returned… I don`t think."
"At first the manifestation of my bloodline was a delight. My daydreams
became my reality. I let myself become lost in them, playing out any
flight of fantasy that tripped into my mind, and I was rewarded with dreamy
images so vivid and exciting that I soon had no desire to return to my
former life. I became one of the world`s greatest adventurers in my mind,
had the most fascinating adventures, met the most beautiful women…. It was
as if all my dreams came true, and I reveled in it."
"I do not know for sure how I survived those first few months. I had no
lack of nourishment, though I shudder to think of what it was I might have
been really eating. What I thought was at a great fete surrounded by
admirers I might, in fact, have been sitting in a pigpen dining from the
common trough. The gentle spring from which I sipped might well have been
the runoff of some cesspit. Whatever they were in reality it seemed to me
that I ate only the finest meals and sipped honeyed drinks that flowed like
fountains from the very earth. Because I went unseen there was no one to
object to the thievery that I know I must have engaged in, or none who
could catch me if they tried. Perhaps they did try? I know I fought upon
occasion and that I killed several people that I my fantasies led me to
believe were bandits or villains."
"It was not until later that my curse began to grow dark, and by then it
was too late. I had embraced the fantasies given me by my blood so that I
was no longer in control. I was in the midst of rescuing a maid from her
cruel master, when I perceived for a moment the reality of what it was that
I was doing. The maid was no child, but a grandmother and what I thought
was her capture was but a lad. He lay dead at my feet while his family
cringed in terror at the disembodied voice that shouted irrational
challenges and stabbed at them from out of nowhere. In truth, I do not
know for certain that even that is what was truly happened, for it may be
that my curse had sent me some elaborate vision to trick me into fleeing
that place, for that is what I did. I ran and ran until I was exhausted,
but there was no escape. I could not outpace that corruption of my soul."
"Was I dead? Am I dead? I cannot answer that question even now. Perhaps
I am a Lost Soul wandering through the Shadow World in search of an exit to
the life beyond. I do not know. I cannot know. That is my curse. I
cannot say if I am here or not or even if I am alive or dead. Can you
imagine the torment of not knowing if you even exist? I cannot trust that
you are here, that I am here, or that there is anything here at all, but
you can trust me that it is the worst torture that can be endured. Day in
and day out, my mind tells me things that are not true, and I cannot
believe the things that anyone else would know as reality. I think,
therefore, I am not."
There was a long pause while the Phantom pondered his fate and I wondered
how it could possibly be assuaged. When I hit upon the solution I was
hesitant to even ask the question, but worked up the courage for the sake
of my mission and the pathetic creature with whom I was speaking.
"Please forgive me for asking, but if you are so desperate to end this
torture, why not kill yourself?"
"I have tried. I cannot die. I have thrown myself from heights and tried
to let the cursed blood from my veins, but I do not die. Instead I am left
weaker than before and less able to fight off the impulses to obey the
delusions, and more people die. It seems I cannot put an end to myself any
more than I could put an end to the fantasies that deceive me. That is why
I not only cannot kill myself, but I cannot allow myself to be killed by
any of these noble fools who come seeking me to make a name for
themselves. They will simply leave me alone and wounded to return in a few
hours more vulnerable than I was before to the delusions of my curse. In
fact, I am a slave to them for many days after such injuries and in that
time they can wreak havoc upon those I meet for I am not strong enough to
resist the compulsions they place upon me. When I regain my senses I see
that I have committed vile acts. The curse of my blood allows me to see
them clearly, I believe, to torture my conscious."
I was finding it difficult to think. I was told that the spells that
protected me would be effective against his aura for a time, but it might
have been pity that overcame my reason as much as the awnshegh`s power.
“So now you know the truth of my history, what do you think, my friend?”
"It is indeed a sad tale, and I do pity you. But be comforted that I will
take your story back to the Imperial City where it may be that the scholars
of my order can find some way to help you."
There was a sharp cry and a gasp.
"What`s this? A blade? Betrayer! You lull me into trusting you by asking
me to tell you my story and when my back is turned you prepare to stab me
in the back!"
“What? I have no weapon. What are you talking about?”
"You admit it! Out to make a name for yourself, are you? Well, you should
have listened more carefully to my tale, backstabber, for that blade cannot
kill one such as I! To think, I trusted you, fool that I am. Enough of
that. Take this for your reward, assassin!"
A sharp pain filled my chest as his blade sunk into me. I had no way of
knowing from where the blow came, but as my blood spilled from the wound I
saw it splatter upon the invisible dagger and hand that grasped it, forming
a gory outline of my unseen attacker. In seconds the blood upon that
ghostly hand faded away, and the Phantom was again invisible.
“It shall be you not I that will die in this lonely place!” the creature
raved while I retreated. I protested my innocence but who knows what it
was he heard me say in his mind? The deadly sound of steel flashed through
air and I instinctively ducked. The Phantom missed me, but the force of my
avoiding his blow sent me reeling. I fell to the earth and struck my head
upon the stony floor and knew nothing more.
When I awoke I was not alone. I could not be sure if it was the Phantom
that was in the room or if my fear was so strong as to become a palpable
thing, but there was a presence in that cave. I did not speak to that
presence. What good would it have done? He might have heard my
protestations as anything; an insult, a challenge or the roar of a cave
animal. Even if he truly heard what I said he could not believe it was the
truth. The cut across my chest was painful. I am no healer but I knew it
was grave enough that I must seek one soon. I moved about to see how badly
wounded I was and realized I could stand and walk if need be.
Disheartened and filled with pity I made my way towards the surface.
